Transparency — AKA I’m Not Perfect Either

Funny how things go sometimes.

Today in my Facebook news feed was a link to the latest post on Bohemian Bowmans, Things You’re Not Supposed to Say About Life.

While I agree with her reasons, I’d like to add another one to the table. A friend of mine and I were talking about this recently. We were discussing how it’s hard to be transparent with everyone because there are people who seem to be waiting for a sign of weakness to say “I told you so” or offer their “advice” to do exactly the opposite of what you are currently doing.

(Just One) Example: the homeschooling mom doesn’t share her homeschooling struggles because of the relative who uses every opportunity to share that sending the kids to public school is the magical answer to all of them.

The bigger issue is when we take our experience with one person and use it to make assumptions about another. A homeschool parent once made a comment about you sending your child to public school, so now you are wary of what you share with all homeschooling parents. Or, on the other hand, a public school parent intently questioned you on the socialization of your children or your qualifications for teaching your children once and now any time the question comes up, so do bitter feelings.

This creates a lot of unnecessary division in the body of Christ. We are part of a body, which means there are hands, feet, etc. And simply because you are a foot in one area of your life like so-and-so, doesn’t mean you’ll both be hands in another area. It also doesn’t mean you will be a foot all your life. <End Christian Cliche>

There seems to be a wave of transparency moving through the Internet. More and more people seem to be realizing that others are looking at what they are putting out there via blogs, Twitter, Facebook…and not getting the whole picture.

What’s the whole picture? Life is life for everyone, no matter their label. It’s messy, it’s hectic, it’s crazy…and it’s beautiful. It’s real.

Everyone struggles. Everyone.

So in the spirit of transparency, here is a dose of the real me…

Care to share a struggle?

If you are dealing with mommy guilt, please read my post called Dear Guilty Mom – Give Yourself Permission.

If you would like some practical help with housekeeping, check out my list of 19 Ways to Change Up Your Housework Routine.

Speak Your Mind


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  1. Missy Vaterlaus says

    Ditto your big reveal. πŸ˜‰ Here’s the thing: I’m a visual, resourceful, and busy person. And that has a lot of upsides. BUT it also has its downsides and a messy/cluttered house ranks high on that list.
    I’m over it. Most days. Though not always, and especially not when unexpected company arrives, or when I see certain of my children being ‘Messies’ too. Oh well, that becomes practice time for peace that passes understanding.
    There is some middle ground in here between accepting and appreciating the gifts I’ve been given, and striving to do a better job at honoring the Giver, and living in reality for everyone’s betterment.
    So here’s reality: my house is usually a mess, and there are a few people I know who consider that a spiritual problem, but then, I think that mindset and willingness to judge on non-essentials is, in and of itself, a WAY BIGGER spiritual problem. Like me for who I am or don’t, but I’m not wasting both our time and energy by pretending to be someone I’m not because it makes you feel better about me. πŸ™‚
    Btw, I like and respect you very much for WHO YOU ARE! (And I know you don’t do this.)

    • I wish WordPress would let me click the “Approve” button more than once on this one. Thank you, thank you, Missy. I’m also finding that when I have a struggle, often sharing it diminishes it greatly. I’m hoping this post helps with that in this area. πŸ˜‰

  2. I feel the same way! It seems like the day after I clean the house top to bottom, it’s dirty again! That makes is very hard to motivate myself to clean it again and again…and again. :0/

    • Sometimes it doesn’t even take a full day, lol. I’m finding I don’t handle routine as well as I should. Working on it, working on it. πŸ˜‰

  3. Oh my goodness Vicki, I love this post. I am new to your blog and found you through twitter. But I so can relate to this post. While my house is on the messy side, it is not the one thing I wish to share. I am a business owner and I want to share that some days things are not always perfect. I have clients that quit and customers that decide to cancel their subscriptions. But my biggest issue is always worrying that I am providing the very best info and value to my customers while still trying to be a mom and a wife. Life is not perfect for anyone like you said it gets messy. It is how we work through that and use it to our advantage or make it an asset when we really shine. Thanks for the great post. Bookmarked your blog so I can come back. =D


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